That's NOT fancy

I rarely watch the morning "news" shows anymore. Well, because they're not really about the news. It seems their only content these days is about what's trendy, popular, outrageous or full of hype. Not exactly what I want to listen to or watch as I awake with the day's first cup of coffee. It can quickly turn the taste of my roasty-toasty brew into swill.

I prefer to procrastinate doing anything that makes me feel like I've taken a giant BS pill or makes my eyes glaze over with amazement and wonder at the things the media labels as acceptable and are desperately trying to shove down our thought-holes.

~ At my age, I do not need to wear clothes that were designed for a 19 year old body and lifestyle. Watching the size 2 (and smaller) models prance across a stage in the season's 'best fashions' that don't even cover their bums, boobs or other fiddly bits is depressing and comical all at once. It's not news to try to convince me to buy that kind of thing, either.

~ Interviewing the newest reality show subject in the never ending line of train wrecks of people willing to forego any substance in their life for the love of money is not news.

~ Trying to convince us that everything we do, wear, eat, use, say or think should be "green" is not newsworthy material. It's simply yet another way to get the public to spend their money in a manner that a particular industry wants them to. For sure, this is not news.

~ Something tells me taking financial or real estate advice from someone on television might not be the best move. Chances are if I did take the advice & urging they serve up on the morning "news" shows, I'd be bankrupt, stressed and lose my home in the end. Oh. Wait a minute - I seem to remember that happening to thousands of people recently. Wonder if they watched these shows every day?

So, now that we've established my general distaste for the morning infotainment commercials that dare to call themselves the news.....let me admit that I DO occasionally falter and stop on a certain show sporting a stylized sunrise for its logo, on a network that believes in rainbow colored peacocks.

Yeah. That one.

Today was one of those days. I blame the lack of coffee in my veins, since at the time I had managed to get down only half of my first cup. If nothing else good comes from it, at least I usually get a good laugh out of these momentary lapses of reasoning.

As I'm sitting there willing my eyes to stay open and wishing I had a higher tolerance for hot liquids so I could drink faster, it registers with me what channel I'd stopped on.

Oh. Joy.

Oh. Well.

I tune in to the chipper chatter in front of me and strain to actually pay attention, in an effort to get my brain a-goin'. The words eventually start making sense to me and I see that the diminiutive brunette on the screen is answering viewer questions about health issues. They ran the gamut: vitamins, diet, lactose intolerance and the possible dangers of drinking too much seltzer water. On that last one - really?? The viewer asking that doozy was concerned about the bubbles eating away her bones or teeth. (Turns out she just might burp or toot a little more often. Nice.)

At some point, the correspondent was asked about calcium supplements and calcium rich food sources, other than dairy. Included in the list they provided on-screen as High-Calcium Vegetables was Collard Greens.

No problem there. It's true.

Collard Greens

Kale

Broccoli

All high in calcium and on their list.

I nearly fell off the sofa, however, when the happy little brunette said the words out loud as she made her way down the list.

"Colyard Greens...."

HUH? Nah. I couldn't have heard that right.

"So on the list of greens that you really want....the Colyard Greens, the Kale..."

No way. She did it again. I had to go online and watch the segment a second time, just to be sure.

Yep. I heard right. It was not a mistake. Completely intentional.

Am I to assume this is the correct pronunciation of the word Collard, because some lady on on the "news" said it that way? I guess any word with a double-L in it should be spoken like this. It just sounds so much better to say things the way a Frenchman would, in case there's any chance the word or item originated in France or some other country that's better than the USA, right? We do want to be politically correct in this day and age, after all. That is so much more important than the actual correct pronunciation of words here in America, the land of English.

The moral of the story, you ask?

It does not make one fancy to mispronounce words, no matter how ornate it might sound. One does not, in any way, seem more educated, elevated or remotely hip when they utter a word in a way it is not intended to be spoken. It only serves to prove that one is not as educated as they think themselves to be and that they're trying too hard to elevate themselves to a station in which they may not belong.

In a nutshell ~

Mispronouncing words so you can sound cool

or like you're from a different country?

Thanks for joining me today for the That's NOT fancy! Tuesday Tirade.

Now go out there and say words the way they're meant to be said.

'Cause that's fancy.