That's NOT fancy

I rarely watch the morning "news" shows anymore. Well, because they're not really about the news. It seems their only content these days is about what's trendy, popular, outrageous or full of hype. Not exactly what I want to listen to or watch as I awake with the day's first cup of coffee. It can quickly turn the taste of my roasty-toasty brew into swill.

I prefer to procrastinate doing anything that makes me feel like I've taken a giant BS pill or makes my eyes glaze over with amazement and wonder at the things the media labels as acceptable and are desperately trying to shove down our thought-holes.

~ At my age, I do not need to wear clothes that were designed for a 19 year old body and lifestyle. Watching the size 2 (and smaller) models prance across a stage in the season's 'best fashions' that don't even cover their bums, boobs or other fiddly bits is depressing and comical all at once. It's not news to try to convince me to buy that kind of thing, either.

~ Interviewing the newest reality show subject in the never ending line of train wrecks of people willing to forego any substance in their life for the love of money is not news.

~ Trying to convince us that everything we do, wear, eat, use, say or think should be "green" is not newsworthy material. It's simply yet another way to get the public to spend their money in a manner that a particular industry wants them to. For sure, this is not news.

~ Something tells me taking financial or real estate advice from someone on television might not be the best move. Chances are if I did take the advice & urging they serve up on the morning "news" shows, I'd be bankrupt, stressed and lose my home in the end. Oh. Wait a minute - I seem to remember that happening to thousands of people recently. Wonder if they watched these shows every day?

So, now that we've established my general distaste for the morning infotainment commercials that dare to call themselves the news.....let me admit that I DO occasionally falter and stop on a certain show sporting a stylized sunrise for its logo, on a network that believes in rainbow colored peacocks.

Yeah. That one.

Today was one of those days. I blame the lack of coffee in my veins, since at the time I had managed to get down only half of my first cup. If nothing else good comes from it, at least I usually get a good laugh out of these momentary lapses of reasoning.

As I'm sitting there willing my eyes to stay open and wishing I had a higher tolerance for hot liquids so I could drink faster, it registers with me what channel I'd stopped on.

Oh. Joy.

Oh. Well.

I tune in to the chipper chatter in front of me and strain to actually pay attention, in an effort to get my brain a-goin'. The words eventually start making sense to me and I see that the diminiutive brunette on the screen is answering viewer questions about health issues. They ran the gamut: vitamins, diet, lactose intolerance and the possible dangers of drinking too much seltzer water. On that last one - really?? The viewer asking that doozy was concerned about the bubbles eating away her bones or teeth. (Turns out she just might burp or toot a little more often. Nice.)

At some point, the correspondent was asked about calcium supplements and calcium rich food sources, other than dairy. Included in the list they provided on-screen as High-Calcium Vegetables was Collard Greens.

No problem there. It's true.

Collard Greens

Kale

Broccoli

All high in calcium and on their list.

I nearly fell off the sofa, however, when the happy little brunette said the words out loud as she made her way down the list.

"Colyard Greens...."

HUH? Nah. I couldn't have heard that right.

"So on the list of greens that you really want....the Colyard Greens, the Kale..."

No way. She did it again. I had to go online and watch the segment a second time, just to be sure.

Yep. I heard right. It was not a mistake. Completely intentional.

Am I to assume this is the correct pronunciation of the word Collard, because some lady on on the "news" said it that way? I guess any word with a double-L in it should be spoken like this. It just sounds so much better to say things the way a Frenchman would, in case there's any chance the word or item originated in France or some other country that's better than the USA, right? We do want to be politically correct in this day and age, after all. That is so much more important than the actual correct pronunciation of words here in America, the land of English.

The moral of the story, you ask?

It does not make one fancy to mispronounce words, no matter how ornate it might sound. One does not, in any way, seem more educated, elevated or remotely hip when they utter a word in a way it is not intended to be spoken. It only serves to prove that one is not as educated as they think themselves to be and that they're trying too hard to elevate themselves to a station in which they may not belong.

In a nutshell ~

Mispronouncing words so you can sound cool

or like you're from a different country?

Thanks for joining me today for the That's NOT fancy! Tuesday Tirade.

Now go out there and say words the way they're meant to be said.

'Cause that's fancy.

A Day at the Beach

After spending the majority of the weekend with the kids enjoying the sun, surf and sand, I think it's safe to say that I officially have beach-on-the-brain syndrome.

It's a real condition, you know.

Lots of us "Coasties" could easily get a diagnosis from the doctor, if we asked for it. It sure would come in handy for those inevitable days soon to come, when we wish to wiggle out of our duties and into a bathing suit instead. With the beach only a hop, skip and a jump down the road, I'll admit it's a daily battle not to load up the kids, pop open the sun roof and cruise on down there, leaving all our cares behind.

Torture, I tell you. Pure torture!

In honor of all things beachy (and the fact that I cannot get it outta my head), I threw together this fancy collection of baubles, beauties and inspiration. So come along and let's see just how fancy we can get at the beach . . . .

First, we must let everyone know why we're not answering our door, our phones or emails ~

My Flip Flopz @ Etsy

Next, we should figure out how to get there ~

4WitsEnd @ Etsy

ahhhhhhhhh, finally!

Fusion Media @ Etsy

They just don't make fancy signs like that anymore, do they?

Now it's time to hunt down that quintessential beach cottage ~

I pick this one because it just screams

"Come on in, kick off your shoes. Grab a cold one and don't worry 'bout a thing!"

Jane Coslick is the brainchild behind this fantastic looking, fun house. Her wonderful work has been featured in Coastal Living, Southern Living, as well as decor & design television shows. She rescues forgotten beach bungalows on Tybee Island, GA, designing and restoring them, often to a glory they may have never seen before. Each one has it's own vibe and style and you're sure to find a bit of fancy in each one.

Now that we're there, what'll we wear?

Let's get unpacked ~

We're set for sunning, swimming, a stroll through the shops

or a night on the town. I particularly like the fancy flip flops . . .

they'd fit in great with the collection I've amassed over the years.

(Shopping Guide at the end of this post!)

Don't forget to have some of these while you're there.....so, so good!

Boiled Crabs on Flickr

When we're glowing and rested with our spirits renewed and bellies full, sadly it's time to head home again. But before we go, why not treat ourselves to a memento of our trip?

Perhaps a beautiful painting depicting our experience along the shore ~

Funky Folky @ Etsy

Or not.

Maybe we should just settle for a fantastic piece of pottery ~

Element Clay Studio @ Etsy

Regardless of what we take home to commemorate the trip, once we're back in our own surroundings, we'llbe reminded of and dream about the fact that ~

Old Barn Rescue Company @ Etsy

I hope you've enjoyed our day at the beach. I know I thoroughly enjoyed to two in a row that we had this past weekend. Hopefully there will be more in the very near future. I refuse to live so close to the shore and not take complete advantage of it!

As promised, you'll find the Shopping Guide below.

See you at the shore!

1. Jantzen Floral Bathing Cap 2. Esther Williams Beach Blanket Bingo One Piece 3. Shades of Bling Swarovski Crystal Jellies Sandals 4. Chanel Nail Colour in Shanghai Red 5. Potato Face Sea Urchin Ring 6. Faery Kisses Designs Crabby Necklace 7. Crocs' Hanalei @ Piper Lime 8. Bright and Beautiful88 California Girl Vintage Sterling Charm Bracelet 9. Miss Brache Party Dress 10. Lipstick Queen Red Saint Lipstick 11. Nine West Karoo Peep Toe Platform

Fancy is fun!

Have you ever awakened from a dream and wondered, "Why can't it be like that in real life?" I know I have - like 1.5 million times.

Most recently, I've snapped out of a fog and realized that I've let everything around me go straight to the frumps.

My hair is frumpy.

My clothes are frumpy.

My house is frumpy.

Even my shoes are all frumpy. (gasp!) Yes - I know this is a akin to a sin. I assure you I am ashamed and am working on repentance. There's something to be said for living in the Coastal South and the definite *need* for more than one pair of flip-flops, but it seems I've taken it to the "nth" degree.

I'll wear them in the morning.

I'll wear them in the night.

I'll slip them on after I get a tan.

I will wear them in the dead of winter just because I can.

Of course, that doesn't mean I should. My feet deserve a little fancy. So does my hair, my clothes and my house.

The goal here at Excuse me, I'm Fancy is to share with you all the inspiration I find to turn the frump of life into fancy. From shoes and clothing to furniture, food and things for the kids. There will surely be lots of other surprises along the way.

We all deserve some beauty, some fun, some frill. So please join the fun and follow along! If you run across something that is fabulously fancy, please feel free to share it. Your input is essential!